Lesson One

Table One of the night: Fortunately they are a couple that comes in every Monday and eats the same thing. Two draft Ultras and after you give them time to chill they order Chicken BBQ Nachos with lite cheese. They are always generous.
Table Two: A young couple walks in and while running my mouth I didn't notice them until they had already been sitting there a minute. I could imagine them being pissed about waiting for a server to greet them while I stood two feet away from them talking my ass off. I made up for it by being really nice and describing some of the great food on our new menu...you should have heard me I was really "enthusiastic." They ended up leaving me a decent tip.
Table Three: A table of my friends.
I left with $20 after I tipped out. Now I want to go off on a side note but we'll come back to this other thought. Some of you who don't serve wouldn't know that by the end of the night we have to pay the restaurant 3% of our sales. So say you come in to eat and leave me 5 on 50...which happens way more than it should...I would technically not be getting more than three dollars for the pleasure of waiting on your needy ass. Now imagine stiffing a server....we had to pay to wait on some dickhead who ended up stiffing us.
Now back to my other thought. Tonight is one of those nights that we have to pay the piper and stay there all night and not make shit. We're servers...we do it with a smile...until we get around that corner and you can't see us ;)
In this next portion of my blog I just want the consumer of America to understand that servers don't discriminate we hate everyone. Well not everyone; but to the rednecks, the black people and the old people. Wow y'all know how to make or break a night...financially or emotionally! Now geezers are old school and a lot has changed since their heyday. A five percent tip was generous back in the day and they pretend not to know the standard has changed since then...lol. One of the things that I miss about waiting tables in Clemson was that there were a lot more rednecks. Columbia is a melting pot of bad tippers. 98% of rednecks and black people don't tip because they are cheap. And to top off my frustration every time a black person walks into the restaurant and I hope he doesn't go to my table that makes me rascist. I don't hate you because of the color of your skin or because you like Natty Light and Nascar...I hate you because you are rude. Rednecks and black people act the same when they go out to eat. They have already spent $30 on a meal for two and they are cheap (or broke) so fuck the girl/guy in front of me. And yeah I'm going to bring all twelve of my little children that are going to terrorize this table and all of the people around me. By the time you leave your pet beast has just wasted all of the annoying little sugar packets that I am going to have to refill but you also have just given me extra work...and you left me a fucking dollar. JUST KEEP THAT DAMN DOLLAR. Because you don't need to add insult to injury. NOW to be fair I will say that every now and again you get a redneck or a black person that leaves you greatly surprised. And that is why when any of you walk into this restaurant I will give you the best service to my ability and I will smile and talk about movies with you...and after you throw in a movie with Denzel I'll shoot back with one about Will Smith. Or after you say your favorite driver is Jeff Gordon, I'll talk about Little E. Tune in next week...its time to talk about why we don't think your kids are cute.