Save the Service Industry

I feel as though I have taught the consumer pretty much the basic lessons to not being a dick when they go out to eat. While it is never hard to think about aggravating things that people do on the daily basis I feel as though we should broaden our horizons a bit. As all of you know, I wait tables. What some of you may not know is that I also work a second job ever day before I go to Restaurant X. I make subs at a place I'll call Sandwiches. I am what you call a slave to the service industry. A couple of friends have mine have suggested that I include my sub making artistry into my blog. Which has me thinking I now have another example of the service industry to blab about. Which also makes me think I should change the name of my blog.

So here its goes. Ever since I was in high school I've had a job at Sandwiches. My mananger...who I'll call November is the coolest boss I've ever had. The job is easy (I mean how hard is it to make subs) the pay is good, and some (NOT ALL) of my coworkers are awesome. Other than that everything else is just as aggravating as waiting tables. A typical day at work starts at about 10:30...I walk in the door and either start rolling meat or rolling pickles. By 11:30 we are slammed. Since we are right across from a large hospital we are busy as hell every day. What I like about working at Sandwiches is that I make the food in the scenario and the only contact I have with a customer is when they ask me to add something on their sub that they forgot to tell the cashier. What I love about making subs is that I don't have to be fake nice and super attentive and since I get paid by the hour I can be short with you if I think you are being rude. My biggest issue about working here is that I have been working at Sandwiches for 4 years of my life and I absolutely can not stand some of my dumbass coworkers. Making subs is the easiest job on the planet...if you can drive your car you can operate a register...and if you can wipe your ass you can make a sub. Whenever I write my upcoming blogs and I am talking about Sandwiches you are going to hear me bitch about two people for the most part. The first who I will call Little Tooth has been working at Sandwiches for a little over a month now. He is not only extremely horrible at this job but he is always huffing and puffing. Ugh...just looking at this guy annoys me. The second person I will talk a lot about shall be called Humpty Dumpty. She has been working at Sandwiches since before Christmas and I swear to God everyday is like her first day. She never listens when she is told to do something...she has absolutely no common sense and she still has no idea how to run the register. Get this...she has told us that in her previous job she was an EMT...are you fucking kidding me? I bet this bitch has the highest fatality rate in the United States. So that is basically an intro into a new part of my blog.

So back to the usual. Its been a really busy couple of days. No slow Monday or Tuesday nights to report about her...and the weekend was slammed also. I'm going to start listing a couple of examples of rude behavior that are still bothering me.
A young couple comes and sits on the patio with me last night. They order two appetizers, cocktails and hamburgers with side salads. After chatting with them I learn that the boyfriend manages a Waffle House. We gripe back and forth about server injustice and as they leave they tell me to keep the change with a wink and I open the book to see $4 dollars on a $45 dollar tab. I HATE YOU CHEAP BITCHES WHO BRAG ABOUT WORKING IN RESTAURANTS AND LEAVE A SHITTY TIP! YA'LL ARE A BUNCH OF TRASHY MOTHERFUCKERS! On Saturday night I was cocktailing and around 12 it becomes a watering hole of servers getting off of work with money in their pockets. Some of them are rude or in there own world and then they order lots of cheap beer and I'm running around like a crack head getting them refills and then they leave two fucking dollars. What these servers don't know is that I am keeping a mental checklist and one day I am going to sit in your section and remind you kindly about how I recognize you from Restaurant X and then I am going to run your ass off. And then I am going to leave you only enough of a tip to cover your tip share. On the flip side...I love it when servers come in and eat. When I go out to eat I always make sure to tell my server that I wait tables so they know that not only am I going to hook them up, but that I expect service in a timely manner. Most servers who go out to eat are always more than generous and fun to take care of.
Yesterday a family requested to sit on the patio. There is a smoking ban in Columbia but customers at Restaurant X are allowed to smoke on the patio. As soon as this 12 year old girl goes outside she has a fucking breakdown and starts sobbing as they take her inside. Apparently she is sensitive to cigarette smoke. The most annoying part was fifteen minutes later when she was sitting inside she was still fucking crying! Get the fuck over it you little spoiled bitch. My momma would have beat my little butt if I acted like that in a restaurant. And even more aggravating still was five minutes later when I'm busy as hell this little brat is getting in my way by standing right near the computer I need to get to doing fucking ballerina swirls. I hate kids.
I had a man with his family order a double shot of McGillicuddy and then immediately told my to hurry up. Number one, fuck you. Number two, your not my only table. And number three, just because you said that I am going to take forever. Anyone who is that rude isn't going to leave you a good tip and if they do it's because they know that's the price they have to pay to be rude and still have good karma when they leave.

Too my fellow coworkers...how funny is it listening to Generals little pep talks. That guy is Forest Gump...makes me laugh hearing him try to use all these big words in the wrong context ;)